How Do I Get Over My Shyness?
If only I could sleep in…
Looking back over my life, I’m sure I have always been an introvert, I just didn’t know it. Oh my, the struggles I’ve seen, always believing there was something wrong with me. Well, there’s not!
As far back as early elementary school, after getting off the bus, I would have a snack, watch TV for a few minutes and then conk out on the living room floor. I believe even then I was an introvert. Being with all those people all day just wore me out!
When I first entered the workforce, I would drag myself through the week and then collapse from exhaustion on Friday night. I’d be a zombie throughout the weekend. It didn’t leave much time for enjoying life. And come Monday, it would all begin again.
I’ve a clue, Watson!
I was in my early 30’s when I first learned of the introvert and extrovert personality types. This knowledge may have changed my life forever. I always felt so guilty because I wasn’t outgoing, and I never wanted to socialize. I just never fit in, and all I wanted was to go home.
If only I had known then that I just didn’t do people well. At that time, anyway. I would have been able to cut myself some slack and just be me. Doesn’t that sound great? To Just Be Me!
So, why am I talking about being exhausted all the time? Because that is one of the primary ways you can determine if you’re an introvert or an extrovert. Well, it’s not quite that simple, but a major part of the difference is the way the introverts and the extroverts regain their energy. Their ‘get up and go.’ Their ‘I can’t wait to do this again – I feel so great.’
What’s another word for yin and yang?
To truly understand the introvert personality type, it helps to understand the extrovert personality type as well.
Introversion and extroversion were explained to me during part of a personnel development workshop at my workplace. The presenter described the concept as being two points on a spectrum of personality types. The introvert is on one end, the extrovert on the other.
Every person’s personality type could be placed on this spectrum at a different point from any other person’s personality type. Every person’s point could move about the line a bit at a time in their life, usually based upon their experiences up to that point in time. It is not common, however, for someone to change from being a strong introvert to being a strong extrovert.
Baby Steps
Let’s walk through a brief overview. Keep in mind that there are just as many explanations of the differences in personality types as there are people who care to explain them. Here is my understanding of the essential pieces.
Introverts can be considered the quiet, reflective thinkers of the personality types. Because they are inward thinkers, they prefer to think before speaking and are most comfortable relating with small groups and in one-on-one relationships. They are energized by spending time alone (e.g., a book, a cuppa tea, and a bubbly tubby).
Extroverts are known for their sociability, assertiveness, and cheerfulness. They are outgoing and prefer to work in teams. Extroverts are the opposite of introverts in the way they recapture their energy. Extroverts gain energy when they are with people (e.g., Partaayy!).
One thing that is crucial to understand is that neither introvert nor extrovert is better than the other. They both have excellent strengths and some fairly strong weaknesses.
Funny how I didn’t understand that throughout middle school and high school. I always thought that extroverted people were “normal.” I, on the other hand, being the only introvert in my circle of friends, felt that I had something intrinsically wrong with me. I was ‘different.’ I was ‘less than.’ So not true!
Well, let’s get back to answering the fundamental question – what does it mean to be an introvert? Following is a list of common introvert characteristics.
Introverts
- find that social events of all types drain their energy.
- are inward thinking and prefer to measure their words before speaking.
- know that alone time is a highly-valued commodity. Quiet, alone time is essential for the regeneration of their energy.
- are energized by the time they spend alone, or with one, or a few friends.
- prefer having one-on-one friendships or a small group of close friends. In other words, quality over quantity.
- enjoy daydreaming and are interested in how things work, including their own thoughts and emotions.
- are quiet, reflective thinkers.
- prefer to work alone on a project as opposed to working on a team.